Abiding Leads to Freedom

by Kay Bjurstrom

We just got back from a visit to Washington D.C.   Freedom was a word that was everywhere - in the memorials, the archives, engraved on buildings and in all of our historical documents.  We are still striving for Freedom in this country today.  This is a city that everyone should visit and take time to reflect on what made our nation, a great nation under God. 

But today I want to focus on moms helping their children to spiritual freedom.  In John 8:31-32 it states that if we are truly a believer in Jesus Christ we will abide in the Word of God, and we will know the truth, and that truth will set us free.  Genuine disciples abide in Jesus’ words.  Abide means to remain or continue.  Salvation happens in a moment, but it is demonstrated over a lifetime.  So we must spend time in God’s Word if we want to be truly free.

Free from what?

1.     Free from the power of sin.  The more I understand what God wants me to do, the more I will want to do what is right!  I will choose to do what is right.  Doing right will not be an inconvenience to my agenda.

2.     Free from the pain of sin.  If I choose to sin there will be pain because of the consequences of that choice.  But with Christ I can choose to do right and therefore avoid the pain.

Freedom is not doing whatever makes us happy. It is wanting to do what we know we should do.  It is not dos and don’ts….it is really desiring to do the right thing.

This is a process that will continue our whole lives, but as moms, we can help our children at a young age.  The first thing, is helping them understand the saving grace of Jesus Christ.  We must talk about it with them, get books that give the story of salvation through colorful pictures that capture their attention, explain it over and over until they understand it.  There is nothing greater and more joyful than leading your child into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

When my kids were young I had Steve Green’s “Hide ‘em in Your Heart” CDs.  They are Bible verses set to music. I just purchased both volumes for my grandsons. Yesterday, when Trey was over, he was playing while I was in the other room, and I heard him singing one of the songs.  What better way is to teach a 2-year-old God’s Word?  Fantastic!!  Glenda Matthes and I have been playing the second volume on video to the kids in the Mom’s Time Out group.  They love watching it, and as they continue hearing the songs, they will be learning God’s Word. 

AWANA is another great way of helping your children “abide in God’s Word."  And as they learn the truth, the truth will set them free.  Free from the power and pain of sin.  See how important this is?!  Be actively involved in helping your children not only memorize God’s word, but understanding what it is saying.  Sometimes I am afraid we are more interested in helping our kids learn the “rules of the game” than the “rules of eternal life."

One more idea I have for helping your family “abide in God’s Word” is to have family devotions; a time when you all sit down and read a passage of God’s Word and discuss it.  There are many great books to help you with this from toddlers to teens. End the time praying for each other, asking God to help you learn the truths you are studying.  This doesn’t have to take up a long period of time…..even 10 minutes will set a good pattern for your children to follow.  Do it at breakfast time and it will start the day out right!

Make church and studying God’s Word a priority in your home.  If your children see you having your daily quiet time and see you making church a priority, they will have a great example to model after.  Remember, genuine disciples abide in God’s Word, and abiding leads to knowing the truth, and that truth sets you free!!!

I feel very passionate about teaching children God’s Word from the time they are small.  Many adults do not know God’s Word and are not experiencing the freedom he gives us in Christ!  Don’t forget abiding leads to freedom!!!  If you do not feel you know the Bible, learn it along with them!  What better freedom, than freedom from sin!  “But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through Jesus Christ our Lord!”  1 Corinthians 15:57.

A Peaceful Haven at Home

By Laurie Ness

I'm pinch-hitting in this column this month, and the first thing I thought of while wondering what to write  pertaining to motherhood and peace was a "challenge" I participated in awhile back, associated with the blog Women Living Well.  During the month of October, the challenge focused on making our homes havens, and each week of the month brought a new component to the challenge.

The first week, we were encouraged to light a candle each day, with the purpose of being reminded, each time the flame caught our eye, to pray for peace in our homes.  I found this to be such a wonderful practice, that I have continued it since.  Oh, the reminders I need to speak peacefully even when I don't feel like it!  Oh, how I need the Lord's help to accomplish this! :)  The candle is such a helpful reminder . . . I encourage you to try it if you feel so led.

We moms really do often have the ability to set or change the tones of our homes. We can choose to be welcoming to the residents and visitors of our home, or to be cold and aloof.  We can choose to yell at our kids or to patiently speak truth into their lives.  We can choose to make our husbands "pay" for not agreeing with us, or we can humble ourselves and move on in unity.

It's all about the choices we make!

Our children are watching.  What are they learning about living peacefully at home (or not) when they see our example?

For more about my experience with the candle challenge, I'll refer you to my personal blog, Rekindled Heart, where I wrote more details.  Also, the Women Living Well blog has lots of encouragement for moms. 

Let's encourage each other to live peacefully with our children, even when it's so hard! :)

Truly Devoted

by Kimberly Hayes 

“Devotion and selfishness are eternal opposites.”  --Keith Green

I accepted Christ as my Savior as a seven-year-old.  I remember “praying the prayer” with my Sunday School teacher as if it were yesterday.  Later, as a Christian teen/college student, I struggled so much with wanting to live for Jesus and please Him, yet I felt the pull of the world and wanted to be well-liked and accepted among my non-Christian group of friends.  I tried to do this “dance” with the world all week, and then on the weekend I would find myself in church and genuinely wanting to live the life of a devoted Christian.   However, Matthew 6:24 warns us that, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.”

I often say, “I had one foot firmly planted in the world and one firmly planted in the church, or so I thought.”  There was surely a war being waged for my devotion. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”  (Ephesians 6:12)  I really wanted to live for Jesus.  I just didn’t want to have to do what it took to be devoted to Jesus.  I didn’t want to do hard things.  I didn’t want to deny self.  I wanted it my way.

What is devotion? 

Maybe you are asking “What really is devotion?”  Well, Dictionary.com says devotion is "profound dedication; consecration, earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc." TheFreeDictionary.com defines it as "ardent, often selfless affection and dedication, as to a person or principle."

What does it mean to be profoundly dedicated to Jesus?  Does it mean that I should spend more time in God’s Word and in prayer, more time with my family, more time being hospitable to the new ladies at SGC or to old friends that have weathered many a storm with me?  Should I devote myself to finishing the BIG project that the Lord led me to a number of years ago that’s waiting for more of my “profound dedication” or should I spend more time with my husband and children?   The options are limitless.  We’re all bombarded with “opportunities” to show our devotion to someone or something.

How is devotion developed?

Colossians 3:2 “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

When I think about devotion, “doing devotions” or “having a quiet time” often comes to mind, but that is NOT what devotion is.  Devotion is not about the disciplines that we do because of our commitment to Christ; it is rather who we are. It is the why behind the disciplines. It is not about a “quiet time,” but rather I have a “quiet time” because of my “selfless affection” and  “earnest attachment” to Him.  As I pursue Him, devotions being one avenue of pursuit, I become more fully devoted to Him. 

Real heartfelt devotion is my profound dedication and consecration to Christ because He is everything to me.  It is lining up my personal desires and plans with God and His principles.  It is an attitude more than an act, a pursuit to be offered to God to give Him glory through our discipline to His Truth.

What does this have to do with motherhood?

One of the things that I pray often for myself and my children is that we would love or be devoted to the things that God loves and that we would be offended by (or hate) the things that offend God. 

Before we can help our children differentiate between the two, we ourselves must understand the difference.  We must hate sin.  We must learn to recognize it in ourselves.  We must ask God for guidance to see it.  We have been given the greatest resources on earth—prayer and God’s Word.  Go to God in prayer and ask for wisdom and guidance.  Ask him to show you from His Word what areas of your life offend Him and are keeping you from being devoted to Him. 

In the world in which we live we are indoctrinated constantly by the world’s belief system--pagan belief systems, really.  So many of us that call ourselves Christians participate in things that offend God.  We have one foot firmly planted in the world during the week and then we come to church on Sunday and firmly plant our foot in the church house for our “cleansing.”  James 4:17 says, “It is sin to know what you ought to do and then not to do it.”

Be brutal with yourself and ask, “Do I try to serve two masters?”  “Am I truly devoted to Jesus?”  “Do the choices that I make reflect that?”  “Can others see the difference that Christ and my devotion to Him has made in my life?” “Do I really have that selfless affection for Him to the point that I’m willing to deny self in order to seek Him?” “Am I willing to surrender whatever area the Lord may be pressing on me to surrender out of an effort to be more devoted to Christ?”  “Am I willing to surrender my “me”-ness to become a more fully devoted follower of Christ?”

You may be asking what this has to do with mothering.  It has EVERYTHING to do with it.  Remember, you are modeling every minute of every day of every week of every month of every year to your children, what it really means to be devoted and to do all for the glory of God.  How can we lead our children to be devoted to God if we are not fully devoted to God ourselves?  In all that we do in life, whether we eat or drink, at all times, in all places, and in all things, we are to do all for the glory of God.  I Corinthians 10:31

Comforting Warmth

By Barb Blosser

Warmth…what kinds of images come to your mind? Something that is indicated on the thermostat? My son, Eric, told me that the smell of kerosene makes him feel warm. (really, Eric?) Then he reminded me that as a child we used a kerosene heater that emitted an orange glow and heat, and made him feel cozy. Maybe some of us seasoned women experience a hot flash—a type of “warmth” that is definitely not comfortable or welcomed.

Or maybe it’s an emotional feeling? What does it mean when someone greets you warmly? I feel welcomed and loved—like that person is really glad to see me and values my relationship with them. Often my little granddaughter, Bella, will throw her arms around me and out of the blue say, “Nana, I love you!” Melt my heart—warmth.

Even as I write this article, I have a fire in the fireplace and am listening to a CD called “Piano Chill”. It produces a feeling of coziness and reflection—no “chill” at all!

I interviewed some of my family and friends on what “warmth” meant to them, relationally, emotionally, external, internal, eternal, and I received great insight from them!  My daughter-in-law, Diedra, describes external warmth as a “feeling of coziness, thinking of times of relaxation, a cup of coffee, sitting by the fire, a warm blanket, a hot bath, time to ‘just be’ that doesn’t just happen as a mom. It has to be intentional on our part. Slow down –the hustle and bustle and stresses do not make me think ‘warmth.’“

I worked for many years in an OB/GYN office and saw hundreds of newborn babies. Some of those precious little lives were born into a cruel, cold world, where they were not welcomed or nurtured. I would often cradle them and whisper a prayer of protection, and that somehow they would find that Jesus loved them. The ‘cold’ people we run into everyday, were once little newborn babies just like that, but life has been harsh to them, and they develop survival mechanisms that protect them, but produce coldness in their spirits.

A person’s body language can convey warmth or coldness to us. We’ve all experienced it. Eye contact, a smile, or lack thereof, conveys the “temperature”. When you feel frustrated with someone, there’s a rift in the relationship, it’s hard to be “warm” to him/her. It’s much more effective to give them the “cold shoulder” so they “get the point!”

Eternal warmth—I loved this description Deidra gave, so I’m going to just quote it for you:

“Sun and light are at the forefront when thinking about warmth. When I think about warmth, images of sitting by a fire or a cat lying in a sun patch on the carpet are two pretty strong images from my childhood. And when I think of the word eternal with warmth it makes me think of the Bible describing heaven as the eternal day, no more darkness and night. Walking in the Light to its fullest. No more sin, no more stumbling in darkness. God himself will be our light forever. For moms (and anyone) this is a source of hope. This life is a struggle, there are bad days and there are even worse days and many times we don't live up to our own expectations, but God knows that. Only one Person was perfect and our hope is in Him and that someday He will make all things right. We are eternally clothed with the righteousness of Christ because of the blood he shed on the cross and that is the best 'security blanket' ever.”

So, how does one learn to be a warm person, and how does a mom teach it to her children? First and foremost, we as moms have to be a good example to our kids. Proverbs 31:26 says, “She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Lots of hugs and kisses and smiles are essential for them to experience warmness. Asking them for forgiveness when we mess up is as important as teaching them to ask for forgiveness when they are naughty, and also teaching them to forgive others. Forgiveness doesn’t come naturally to any of us, and neither does asking for forgiveness, for that matter! Jesus said on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” and believe me there are plenty of times I don’t know what I’m doing! It is more “natural” to withhold love and warmth, when someone has wronged us. After all…if we forgive right away, they won’t learn, right? WRONG! When we withhold like that, we not only hurt
others, we aren’t doing ourselves any favors either! Bitterness can creep in and take root so fast in one’s heart, and when that happens it “oozes” out in all the other areas in our lives. A bitter person is not a warm person.

I married into a family of missionaries and in talking to Debbie, one of my sisters-in–law, she mentioned that when they are back in the states, visiting their supporters, they experience a wide range of warmth. Some welcome them with, “make yourself at home” while others seem to put up a cool barrier. Debbie says, “ I learn a lot from these experiences, what to do and not do, when we have guests visiting.” Being hospitable is one way to express warmth to others.

Let your children “catch you smiling at them." When they are playing nicely, catch their eye and just smile. This fosters happiness and security. Teach them to respond when spoken to. Teach them manners. Teach them eye contact. Ever meet a grown adult who avoids eye contact? I often wonder what’s happened in their lives that made them so insecure that they can’t look you in the eye. I have met people who have mastered the art of being a warm person. They make you feel valued and appreciated. They smile and make eye contact. It’s so easy to respond back in like manner.

One great example of a “warm” person is my friend Elsie. She and her family are probably the most hospitable people I know. She and her husband have taught this well to their children. In talking with her about this subject, she said that is it important to give and receive love. Make it a priority of having daily one–on–one time with each child, daily prayers, daily chores, and sharing. Expecting them to interact with adults before running off to play with their friends. This pushes them out of their comfort zone, and develops warmth and hospitality.

So what about responding to a “cold” person? The checkout clerk at the grocery looks depressed, sighing as she scans yet another item. Catch her eye. Ask how she’s doing today, thank her for the work she does, SMILE. Your smile may be the only one she’s received that day.

Last year, I was at the checkout, and asked the clerk how she was doing that particular day and she told me, honestly, that she was having a bad day. She had lost her husband that year and was really missing him. It
was during the holidays, and she was just really lonely. She told me all about his hunting accident, and I just listened. When she was done, I gave her a hug and she thanked me for listening. I did not know this lady, never learned her name. God provides us all times when we can encourage others. We need to look for those opportunities and teach this to our kids as well. Even when we feel like we’re the one who needs the encouragement, becoming “other person sensitive” has a way of coming back to bless us, which in turn fills that emptiness we may be feeling.

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has forgiven you”.

Still Christmas?

by Kay Byurstrom

Christmas… just that one word can bring different thoughts to your mind.  It conjures up wonderful memories for some of Christmas past, and yet for others the word would just as soon be erased. Christmas is not about what our society has made it to be.  It is about the celebration of our Lord Jesus Christ’s birthday, the day God reached down to earth to bring us to Himself by giving us His Son.

It is with this thought in mind that we as the moms and grandmas are asked to make our Christmas celebrations meaningful and memorable.  How do we do that with so much commercialism all around us?  Hit the BIG sales for things we think we really need? Stress over how to pay for everything?  Try to find time to buy and wrap the gifts, decorate the house and bake all the goodies?  We are exhausted by the time Christmas actually arrives!  There has to be a better way.

What can we do to relieve the pressure the world puts on us and concentrate on what is important and what really matters? 

First, our hearts have to be right with God.  We need to focus on Him… after all, it is His Day!  Spend time with Him each day and quiet your heart and mind.  Let Him speak to you and fill you with peace.  Then you can more easily discern what is important and what is not.

Make time for your children and grandchildren.  We can get so busy that we run out of our most precious commodity… time!  That is what they want more than anything.  Make some family traditions that center around playing and laughing together.  Bake cookies or some other family treat for the neighbors and get your kids involved in the making and the delivery.  Just sit and look at the Christmas lights on the tree and sing carols together or simply talk or be still.  Adopt a family to shop for, and get your children involved with the gift list.  Focusing on others helps us remember that Christ came to give Himself away.  Go caroling with the church and visit our shut-ins.  They are so lonely around the holidays and you can bring much joy to them by doing this simple activity.

As wives, mothers and grandmothers, we are the ones that set the tone for our homes.  If our families do not see the true meaning of Christmas in our homes, they probably won’t see Christmas at all.  So, this year, let’s all stay calm, let Christ’s peace rule in our hearts and take time to be still and hear God’s prompting.  This could be the best Christmas yet!

Stewardship

by Carol Supper

My mom faithfully attended church and took all 4 of us kids with her to the little white church on the corner of 147^th St. and California Ave. in the Chicago suburb of Posen, Illinois. From the time I was an infant until sometime during my college years, the Merrell family was present at Community Bible Church just about every time the doors were open. In fact, we often opened the doors!

At the age of 7 I accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of my life after hearing a message from two Evangelist brothers with the last name of Lindquist. I had been in Sunday School and church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night of my life, and on that particular evening it all made sense to me. 

So it is probably not surprising to any that the word “stewardship” was a part of my vocabulary from a very early age.  My understanding of that word, though, was very limited and remained quite obscure to me until a few years ago when a SGC Sunday School class had a guest teacher named Ned Kiser come and teach a quarter on that very word. I was quite surprised to discover that I really knew very little of Biblical Stewardship. 

Perhaps I should start at the beginning.

 

Growing up in the church, I was fluent in “Christian Speak,” and words such as omniscience, born again, redeemed, and stewardship rolled easily off my tongue. I was always surprised when somebody would ask what I was talking about. “Doesn’t everybody know about atonement, the Holy Ghost, and propitiation?!” The word “stewardship” was just another word that Christians used that meant “giving.” whether it was money, time or talents.

Fast forward 20 years--okay maybe 40 years--and I am sitting in the HOPE SS class learning that stewardship means a whole lot more than that. In fact, I would have preferred to stay ignorant so I wouldn’t have to be held responsible! 

Disclaimer: if you do not want to be held responsible for changing your behavior to match your knowledge, STOP reading right now! 

Okay, you can’t say I didn’t warn you!

To understand stewardship, you need to understand what a steward is. The Free Dictionary says a steward is “One who manages another's property, finances, or other affairs.”  Notice that it does not say, “One who manages his own property, finances…” Okay, so what does that mean? It means that we are only managers and not owners. The owner is the Lord! "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it." (Psalm 24:1) 

Now that we understand what stewardship actually means, ask yourself a question. “Would I hire ME to manage my finances, my time, my abilities?” I am so blessed and grateful that my property owner is gracious and merciful…otherwise I would have been fired a long time ago. 

How are you going to respond? Do you need to change your “managing style”? Maybe you need to spend more time reading the textbook that tells you how to please the owner. You probably already have a copy of this book (perhaps even many!). Open your Bible…it has all the direction you need. It clearly tells us how to manage all that the Lord has given us in such a way that will make him want to say, “Well done, good and faithful steward.” One passage to start with is Matthew 25:13-30.

Once you come to grips with what needs to change in your life, it's time to teach these principles to your kids.  Naturally, you will have a lot to explain with your words, but your example will speak the most loudly to them!

It Takes a Church

by Dawn McCandless

My husband's childhood was very different from my own.  Tim grew up in a small town near Pittsburgh, surrounded by a large network of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and siblings.  He also lived in a close knit - both physically and emotionally - neighborhood where he never lacked playmates or houses of refuge when his own parents weren't home.  Eyes and ears were everywhere in the community; supervising, protecting, guiding, caring as Tim was nurtured here for the first seventeen years of his life. He now has precious memories of these years and times spent with influential adults in his young life.

I grew up in Dunlap.  We moved here from Indianapolis when I was seven.  It was the fourth home I had known since my birth. Not exactly a metropolis, the Elkhart-Goshen area felt safe and neighborly enough.  The job opportunity my father had just accepted allowed my parents to move my brother and me closer to their families in Michigan, still three hours away. We built a home in a new subdivision with few existing homes, and I entertained myself playing in the dirt piles of construction sites and selling lemonade to workers from my red wagon.  As our neighborhood grew, my family formed close friendships with a few other families, creating a substitute extended family within reach.  Forty years and many moves later, these relationships remain.

Tim and I are grateful for our childhood experiences. Different as they were from each other, for both of us, family was community; and community was family.  The security this sense of belonging gave us has been foundational.  Yet eventually, we each discovered our need for more and found that "more" in a relationship with Jesus Christ. 

Today, as we raise our own children away from extended family, we still want to give our kids the sense of the community we had growing up.  We are thankful to have a church family that has given us just that. Through our church, we and our children have enjoyed multigenerational fellowship, a supportive environment for the values we hold dear, and the security of knowing a group of people who are "there" for us. On a more intimate level, we have been blessed with friends who have been closer to us than a brother or sister.  Their children have been our children's surrogate cousins.  We have been the "other mother" to each other's children and they all know that we are all watching, praying, and working together to keep them on the straight and narrow path.

Hilary Clinton tells us that it takes a village to raise a child.  While I don’t agree that the village’s government should dictate how I raise my child, I will concede that children are best raised as part of a larger culture than the nuclear family.  That’s why, in today's world, the church is more important than ever to our families. Higher education or job relocations move us away from relatives.  Busy-ness and air conditioning isolates us from our neighbors. An increasingly liberal mindset in our schools means we can't trust them to reinforce the Christian virtues we want our kids to learn. Internal and external pressures threaten the survival of our marriages and families. For our family, our relationship with Jesus, lived out among the community of believers at Sugar Grove Church, has been the solid rock we have built our home upon. More than a catch-phrase, Sugar Grove has truly been our family.

Hebrews 10:25 says "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Paul recognized how much we would need the Body...and more so in the Last Days. More critically than ever, our children need God's church. No doubt, we made many mistakes as parents, and will make more.  But I have never regretted raising them as part of the family of God.